I want to stick my p in your. b.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
