Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You took a bar mat shot.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
