girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
