Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
