So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It was like giving head to a cactus.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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