Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
