Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
