Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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