do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
