what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
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