Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
