omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
