Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
