So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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