You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
