I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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