Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
