Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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