I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
