i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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