I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I cannot find my penis.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
