Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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