So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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