Already got asked if we're dating
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
