he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm at about main and main street
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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