Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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