Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
