dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
