Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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