I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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