you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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