I want to have your abortion
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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