Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
