I want to have your abortion
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize