yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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