Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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