Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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