I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
