I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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