Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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