My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
