i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
