You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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