he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
