My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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