I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
