Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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