I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
