Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
