Nicole vs. Life
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
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I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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