Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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