:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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