I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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