I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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