I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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