honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
how does that bad decision feel?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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