I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
