Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
