Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
