We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
