I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just had sex on a roof
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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